The character of self-control

The world often tells us, “If you feel it, do it.” The gospel teaches something very different. You are not required to be controlled by every desire you experience. Paul calls self-control part of the fruit of the Spirit, the last of the nine qualities he names in Galatians 5:22-23. Self-control means that desire is no longer the master. Anger does not have to control you. Lust does not have to control you. Greed does not have to control you. Appetite does not have to control you. Ambition does not have to control you. Fear does not have to control you. Christ must become Lord.

Proverbs describes what happens to a person who lacks it:

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit Is like a city broken down, without walls.

A city without walls is open to anything that comes. So is a person who cannot govern himself.

The difference between freedom and slavery

The world often defines freedom as, “I can do whatever I want.” But what if what you want is destroying you? If I cannot control my anger, am I free? If I cannot control my appetite, am I free? If I cannot resist sexual temptation, am I free? If I cannot stop lying, am I free? If I cannot stop seeking human approval, am I free? The Bible gives us a different definition. Jesus said that “whoever commits sin is a slave of sin” (John 8:34), and then:

Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.

True freedom is not the freedom to obey every desire. It is freedom from being ruled by sinful desires.

Samson: strength without self-control

Samson was given extraordinary strength, and he is a sobering example of a man with great power and little rule over himself. He repeatedly allowed desire to lead him, and when Delilah pressed him day after day to reveal the secret of his strength, he finally told her. She had his hair cut, and then she called out, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” Scripture records one of its saddest sentences:

So he awoke from his sleep, and said, “I will go out as before, at other times, and shake myself free!” But he did not know that the LORD had departed from him.

Strength had not been Samson’s problem. Self-governance was. A man who could carry the gates of a city could not carry himself through a conversation with the wrong person (Judges 16:3-4, 15-17). The great danger of an uncontrolled desire is that it can cost us the very thing we were given, and that we may not even notice.

Moses: one moment of lost control

Moses reminds us that this is a matter for the strongest believers as well. Years after Scripture calls him “very humble” (Numbers 12:3), the people of Israel were again without water and again complaining. God told Moses to speak to the rock. Moses, exasperated, struck it twice, and said, “Hear now, you rebels! Must we bring water for you out of this rock?” (Numbers 20:10-11). Water came out. But God told him that because he had not believed Him and had not honoured Him in the eyes of the people, he would not bring them into the promised land (Numbers 20:12). One moment of lost control, after forty years of faithful leadership, had lasting consequences. Anger can undo what patience has built.

Self-control is not emotional numbness

Self-control does not mean that a Christian never feels anger, disappointment, fear or grief. Jesus Himself experienced profound anguish. The issue is not whether we feel; the issue is who governs what we do with what we feel. A person may be deeply hurt and still refuse to retaliate. A person may be angry and still speak with grace. A person may be afraid and still remain faithful. This is not weakness. It is strength surrendered to God. Proverbs says:

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

Paul uses the image of an athlete: “Everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things” (1 Corinthians 9:25). The goal is not to become less human. It is to become more like Christ. Self-control is not merely restraint of outward behaviour. It involves bringing desires, words and reactions under the influence of the Holy Spirit. “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:25).